A day in a girls diary
Though I don't have a very good opinion on girls who tend, pretend and spend time falling in love, as they say initially ( well don't ask why ! may be because of most of the practical examples that I have seen where a girl ditches a boy and Marry's a guy with a fat check and gives her mobile number starting with 001) and then find them selfs in big villas married to some one else. I wanted to see the other side of it being a girl myself and read out an imaginary day from my diary for all you guys out there. Well the next post I promise would be of the guy whom this girl is speaking about..So relax and enjoy.
" I hate traffic, I hate my assignments and I hate him...
I hate traffic coz it makes me late and leaves me with very little time for shopping, I hate assignments coz I wish to jot an opinion but end up giving a completely different opinion every time, and I hate him as I have loved him from past 5 months and continue to do so.
‘Online marriages’ I don’t have a single thought on it. How I wish we were together today, chatting right now on the net as we used to do about 4 months back and could bother him about the project. I still remember his madness; before I could come online he would have left me with hundred off line messages saying ‘I LOVE YOU’. He really had the patience to copy-paste each of them again and again. Had it not been for that friend community ( he he he that bloody orkut again !!) where he found my profile interesting, we would not have come across each other by now. And I must say that he had the time then to mail me, a real long one, just to be friends. I being the most cautious person to make friends was a bit unenthusiastic about replying him. But his innocence in the mail was that of a kid and I had to reply him. I had never thought that with eleven mails we would be able to know so much about each other.He mailed me his pics and though I was surprised by his good looks I wasn’t quite happy about it as I dint have complete trust to mail him mine (yeah typical Indian Girl, isn't she?).
Finally, after a week or so we caught each other online and that seemed so much better than waiting an entire night, for a reply. He spoke to me as if I was all so important to him or may be I just thought so. He was the first guy who spoke to me in a way that he wasn’t bothered about expressing me how he felt about me, the first man who thought there’s a woman somewhere between the shells of the girl that I am. I knew that it wasn’t ‘only friendship’ but kept ignoring the fact because I knew if not friendship may be just a crush but can’t be that four letter magic word, I had always tried to be away from.
Within a fortnight, he confessed his feelings to me and there I was so scared of my wishes being fulfilled, of my dreams coming to reality. I was scared not for falling for him because I had already fallen for him but scared of, he coming to my life making me weak and then leaving me all alone. Being lonely was easier than being alone, as you are lonely when you don’t have people around you but alone when people around you come into your life, change it completely and leave you incomplete.When you are in love even a barking dog seems like a bird chirping, that’s what was going on with me. Even after being a mature teenager (though they seem poles apart- maturity & teenagers),even after knowing the term ‘infatuation’ (if not the proper definition), even after keeping an account of all the problems that could arise (mom-dad-bro-sis), I went ahead with my ‘I- am- in- love- syndrome’ and gave him my cell number. Some sweet SMS’s followed by his soft voice and then came his beautiful poem (which though Smriti told me is a sign of a good flirt and was sad on having no impact on me, { Brag, that old smrithi again !!!!}) my inspiration for not believing Smriti then were the Backstreet Boys (I don’t care who he is, As Long As He Loves Me).
The day or appropriately the night came in where I had my heart dictating my brain to find a word for whatever I felt for him, the less creative brain took my cell typed a msg saying ‘I LUV U 2’. Then there wasn’t any looking back, we met the coming weekend, the next, the next and the next was the last. No calls followed no SMS’s followed deleting mails followed sad songs reminding the first-kiss followed the telecast of all-the best-romantic movies reminding the moment he held my hands as if he weren’t to leave them ever followed accidental visits to cafes reminding the coffee we shared and those eyes looking so mischievous followed too many trips to the movie theaters reminding me his comforting and soothing shoulders followed Smiti’s words “he wasn’t in love it-was-just-infatuation had it been love he could understand you, your fears, forgive you and go ahead. Love is so strong that misunderstandings can’t shatter it, if at all both you were in love”
May be Smriti was right as her words give me some courage to hate him for whatever he did, for putting a full stop where a comma could be done with, for putting an end to things, for not giving it one first or last try. May be everything was so perfect that something had to go wrong. May be some mistakes in life are such big ones that even your loved ones don’t accept your apologies. May be his principles of life were more important than my feelings. May be I was just somebody who gave him a friend to his loneliness. May be I was just destined to be alone as I never was lonely.May be it was his infatuation but my love."
This is one day from my girl diary.coming up would be the day following the day when she wrote this, from the boys diary. keep waiting. be good , stay good.
" I hate traffic, I hate my assignments and I hate him...
I hate traffic coz it makes me late and leaves me with very little time for shopping, I hate assignments coz I wish to jot an opinion but end up giving a completely different opinion every time, and I hate him as I have loved him from past 5 months and continue to do so.
‘Online marriages’ I don’t have a single thought on it. How I wish we were together today, chatting right now on the net as we used to do about 4 months back and could bother him about the project. I still remember his madness; before I could come online he would have left me with hundred off line messages saying ‘I LOVE YOU’. He really had the patience to copy-paste each of them again and again. Had it not been for that friend community ( he he he that bloody orkut again !!) where he found my profile interesting, we would not have come across each other by now. And I must say that he had the time then to mail me, a real long one, just to be friends. I being the most cautious person to make friends was a bit unenthusiastic about replying him. But his innocence in the mail was that of a kid and I had to reply him. I had never thought that with eleven mails we would be able to know so much about each other.He mailed me his pics and though I was surprised by his good looks I wasn’t quite happy about it as I dint have complete trust to mail him mine (yeah typical Indian Girl, isn't she?).
Finally, after a week or so we caught each other online and that seemed so much better than waiting an entire night, for a reply. He spoke to me as if I was all so important to him or may be I just thought so. He was the first guy who spoke to me in a way that he wasn’t bothered about expressing me how he felt about me, the first man who thought there’s a woman somewhere between the shells of the girl that I am. I knew that it wasn’t ‘only friendship’ but kept ignoring the fact because I knew if not friendship may be just a crush but can’t be that four letter magic word, I had always tried to be away from.
Within a fortnight, he confessed his feelings to me and there I was so scared of my wishes being fulfilled, of my dreams coming to reality. I was scared not for falling for him because I had already fallen for him but scared of, he coming to my life making me weak and then leaving me all alone. Being lonely was easier than being alone, as you are lonely when you don’t have people around you but alone when people around you come into your life, change it completely and leave you incomplete.When you are in love even a barking dog seems like a bird chirping, that’s what was going on with me. Even after being a mature teenager (though they seem poles apart- maturity & teenagers),even after knowing the term ‘infatuation’ (if not the proper definition), even after keeping an account of all the problems that could arise (mom-dad-bro-sis), I went ahead with my ‘I- am- in- love- syndrome’ and gave him my cell number. Some sweet SMS’s followed by his soft voice and then came his beautiful poem (which though Smriti told me is a sign of a good flirt and was sad on having no impact on me, { Brag, that old smrithi again !!!!}) my inspiration for not believing Smriti then were the Backstreet Boys (I don’t care who he is, As Long As He Loves Me).
The day or appropriately the night came in where I had my heart dictating my brain to find a word for whatever I felt for him, the less creative brain took my cell typed a msg saying ‘I LUV U 2’. Then there wasn’t any looking back, we met the coming weekend, the next, the next and the next was the last. No calls followed no SMS’s followed deleting mails followed sad songs reminding the first-kiss followed the telecast of all-the best-romantic movies reminding the moment he held my hands as if he weren’t to leave them ever followed accidental visits to cafes reminding the coffee we shared and those eyes looking so mischievous followed too many trips to the movie theaters reminding me his comforting and soothing shoulders followed Smiti’s words “he wasn’t in love it-was-just-infatuation had it been love he could understand you, your fears, forgive you and go ahead. Love is so strong that misunderstandings can’t shatter it, if at all both you were in love”
May be Smriti was right as her words give me some courage to hate him for whatever he did, for putting a full stop where a comma could be done with, for putting an end to things, for not giving it one first or last try. May be everything was so perfect that something had to go wrong. May be some mistakes in life are such big ones that even your loved ones don’t accept your apologies. May be his principles of life were more important than my feelings. May be I was just somebody who gave him a friend to his loneliness. May be I was just destined to be alone as I never was lonely.May be it was his infatuation but my love."
This is one day from my girl diary.coming up would be the day following the day when she wrote this, from the boys diary. keep waiting. be good , stay good.
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