Is it bad to be a lil selfish... ? I guess not ! I'm happy !

Just trying to figure out when I had written this post, which laid buried in the drafts till I discovered it today ! hmmm probably about 3 years back when people whom I "thought" as best friends flew away abroad, got married etc with out even calling me to say something... It seems I was really heart then, but now, In retrospection, I am not, this is probably called maturity I suppose!  Read on... 

This is a long post and something you probably never thought you would hear from me. This could change people's opinion about me, but I am true to my blog and to my friends. You deserve to know the real me but at the same time you have to understand that I am not a cold hearted robot. I am still the same Chichi u know me as. I am still learning the meaning of life and I have learnt that not everything is or can be perfect. Life is not a fairy tale, it is more like a horror movie with a lot of humor and a good ending.

Times change, many things change with time, people around you change with time. What do you do? Nature has provided you with the answer and it has worked for thousands of years. You evolve, you adopt. I have been in that process for sometime now, knowingly or unknowingly I have been evolving. Might sound a little unscrupulous, but in today's world the evolution principle of "survival of the fittest' has became really important and that is to live a little selfishly.

Be generous and give something to others and they will keep asking for more. Not just materialistic things but emotional stuff like your love and attention. Some people are never satisfied. Try to be a goodie-goodie and before you know they are the center of your universe and your life revolves around them. I am not advising you against this, just do it for those who really really deserve it.

As far as charity goes, I am not an extremely generous guy but I am not stingy or a penny pinching guy. I am a practically generous guy. I say give away when you have just enough for yourself. Yes you can argue against it saying all nice stuff but hey... that is how I think.

I was very nice to everybody and NEVER lost my temper, and what did I get in return? People took advantage of the fact that there is nothing that would make me angry and I would just shut up at everything they do. They made me wait long hours, never listened to me, played some real cruel jokes with me, took me for granted in everything. Friends can have that liberty with me all right but everything, EVERYTHING has a limit. I have had enough and I have evolved to the situation. I speak my mind out now. I express my anger, sadness, disappointment and annoyance when and where I need to. Sure some sparks fly but there is no fire. They would probably feel a little bad, but so do I and the best part is that these kind of things don't happen again.

Did I help everybody who asked for help? Yes, I did. Do I still do? Well, to most of them! Those few who were excluded during the evolution process are 'takers' and not givers. I don’t help others for something else in return. Least I can expect in return is appreciation. Don't even have to say thanks, there are other ways of showing it. I know some people who after doing a lot for them shamelessly ask me what I did for them. They deserve a slap rite across the face but my moral ethics hold me back. Gratitude is what separates humans from chimps and those who don't have it should be picking fleas from others backs and eating bananas.

Friends, good friends, best friends. I never had these 'classifications' all my life, until recently. All my life I treated all my friends the same, the only difference being, spending more time with a few than others, which I couldn't really do much about. I treated everybody like my close friends. God gave me this gift, that people easily confide in me. I have always mistaken that trust to be a sign of them being my close friends and it hit me hard when I knew it wasn't true. Call somebody your best friend and the other person sometimes doesn’t even want to talk or meet you coz their priority is somebody else, that could be one of the worst feeling you can have.

You get what you give as far as your "love, attention and care for somebody" goes, I say give what you can get back. I have given too much attention and care to a few people. I don't regret it but it is sad that I didn't get back as much.

Live life ( jussssssst a little selfishly) .... Love life ( a lot selfishly ) !!